Alone Time

I consider myself to be a very patient person.  It takes a great deal to rattle me and I do not lose my temper easily.  At the end of some days though it takes everything I have not to run screaming out of the house and through the streets in hopes that someone will have me committed to a psych ward so that I can have a couple of hours to myself.  Today was one of those days.  Luckily I have an understanding and intuitive husband who can generally get a read on me within seconds of getting in the door.  On these days he usually gives me the same sweet, sympathetic look to which I respond by putting my head on his chest and bursting into tears (poor guy).  Tonight he patiently got Emma and Walker's snow gear on and took them for a walk with the dog then sat and watched a movie with them after kindly ordering me up to our room where I could have some time alone.

Time alone on days like this almost do more harm than good as I sit and ponder all of the things that I did wrong...I shouldn't have gotten so upset with Walker when he smeared yellow paint all over the kitchen floor (ALL OVER), I shouldn't have shouted at Emma when she nearly bent Lillian in half or sat screaming at me for 30 minutes because I wouldn't give her a sucker before school.  I should have spent more time holding my baby while she fussed instead of insisting on getting the dishes done.  The list goes on and on.  Thankfully, if motherhood has taught me anything it is that dwelling on my imperfections and shortcomings does little good in helping nurture a peaceful and happy environment in our home.  It has also taught me that it is through the Lord that I can find the patience and long suffering necessary to endure these rare but difficult days.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to be home with our beautiful children each day to watch them learn and grow and witness the funny things that they do and say.

I love this little poem, it sums up my feelings tonight perfectly.